


The cat's out of the bag

by Booker_DeShit



Series: The autistic DeWitt's series [15]
Category: BioShock 1 & 2 (Video Games), BioShock Infinite
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Booker DeWitt, Broken Bones, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Hard of Hearing Booker DeWitt, Healthy Relationships, Humor, M/M, Minor Injuries, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Booker_DeShit/pseuds/Booker_DeShit
Summary: Jack is on a mission. He's documenting all of his boyfriend's quirks & traits that have him convince Booker is secretly a cat in disguise.
Relationships: Booker DeWitt/Jack
Series: The autistic DeWitt's series [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559641
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	The cat's out of the bag

**Author's Note:**

> Booker acts 'cat-like' for most part cause he's autistic. I love the joke that cats are autistic, & I find it funny to compare us to cats & vice versa, & Jack finds Booker's autistic quirks adorable. So here's this.

The camera switched on with a brief burst of static, looking upon an empty bedroom, before a face popped up before the lens.

“Hi, everyone!” The man exclaimed with a smile. He brushed a hand through his dirty blond hair as he stepped back, waving to the camera against the backdrop of his room.

“I’m Jack Ryan, & I’m here to ask you a question,” He burst into giggles soon after, dropping his false grandiose voice, “In today’s video we’re going to find out if my boyfriend, who is terrified of cats, is a cat himself or not.” The screen then faded to black, before suddenly fading back into colour, Jack staring right at the lens. The camera was shaking as he walked through the halls of the apartment he shared with his boyfriend, with loud rock music playing in the background from some unknown source.

“First example for why my boyfriend is a cat in disguise: he’s liquid. I’m not kidding.” Jack came to a stop in front of a room covered in ‘Do not disturb’ signs. The camera suddenly turned away from Jack’s face, fully facing the door as it was opened. Inside was a messy room, covered in all sorts of instruments & music sheets, as well as a cassette player resting upon a cluttered desk next to a life-sized statue of the common raven. There were posters littering the walls of different birds & their anatomy, as well as certain heavy metal bands, one of which was currently being played on a stereo in the corner. In the middle of the room was Jack's boyfriend, resting on his knees & bent backwards, looking at Jack & the camera.

“Jack, what the fuck?” He yelled, pushing himself onto his feet with one fluid motion, as if he wasn’t folded over on the floor in a position not many people could actually bend themselves into.

Jack snickered from behind the camera, “Did I interrupt your dancing, Books?” A blush spread over Booker's dark cheeks, as he rushed forward, glaring at the man behind the camera.

“I don’t dance, I was just stretching.” He covered the camera with a hand, muttering something in response to Jack's laughter.

“‘Stretch’ for the camera a bit?” Jack tried once the camera was uncovered again, trained on Booker's face.

“No.” Then the door was slammed in Jack's face, which sent him into another fit of giggles. The camera was turned around to once again point at Jack, showing him with his face flushed & his eyes were with tears of laughter.

“See? Liquid. And he really doesn’t like when people disrupt his dancing.”

The visuals faded again, before a burst of light cut through the darkness & colour came back to the screen. It looked to be early in the morning, as Jack squinted into the lens, his hair mussed up from sleep & his bed's headboard standing behind him. He smiled slightly before turning the camera to his right, where his boyfriend lay, still asleep. Booker was resting his head on Jack's shoulder, and arm draped across the blond's pale chest.

“Reasons two & three for why my boyfriend is secretly a cat: he likes scritches & pets, & he purrs.” Jack's voice was nothing more than a whisper, yet it was close enough to the camera to be audible. He raised his (semi) free hand from behind Booker, manoeuvring it in a way to not wake up his sleeping kitten, but to be able to reach his head. Jack dangled his fingers briefly in the mop of messy auburn hair atop Booker's head, before trailing it down to one of the shaved parts & began to gently scratch. In response Booker snuggled closer to Jack, a content look on his sleeping face.

“He loves the attention. And just wait & he'll start ‘purring’ too.” Jack carried on scratching Booker’s head while getting nuzzled. He brought the camera closer to Booker’s face, & soon enough, he began making noises. They were something like soft grunts, couples with quiet hums, coming from his throat.

“There we go. Happy noises. Isn’t he just so cute?” The camera went black again then, the noises carrying on for just a few more seconds before cutting out as well.

The sound came on first before the screen, indistinguishable yelling in the background being the first thing that could be heard. A moment later, the cover was taken off the lens & Jack pointed the camera at himself. He pressed a finger to his lips in a shushing motion, before angling the camera down to where Booker was curled up at his side, a hand over his ears. A text overlay appeared on the screen, saying:

_Reason 4 my boyfriend is a cat: he hates loud noises, & the neighbours are arguing right now._

The camera quickly shut off again.

When it was switched on again, Jack was standing outside, a clear sky standing brightly behind him. He was squinting in the bright light, the camera shaking as he walked forwards. The light suddenly dimmed as he stepped into a building, the automatic doors closing behind him in the corner of the screen.

“I can’t remember which one it is now, but another reason my boyfriend is secretly a cat: he _loves_ climbing.” The camera turned around to show the interior of a sports centre, training the camera on an indoor climbing wall. There, upon it, Booker had a harness & helmet on, nimbly jumping from one hold to the other. 

“Hey, Books!” Jack called out to him. His boyfriend turned his head, waving at him with a wide smile.

“Hi, Jack! I’ll be there in a moment!” In almost no time, he had scrambled his way down, jumping off at the last moment & doing a flip. Jack could be heard whistling behind the camera, no doubt appreciating his boyfriend’s lithe physique. 

“I’m the luckiest guy in the world.” Then the camera cut to black again.

The camera cut to an early morning, with Jack sitting on his sofa, the sun still barely up behind the window, "Reason 173 for why my boyfriend is actually a cat: affection. Exhibit 1." He got up with a sleepy smile & headed out of the living room. The camera was set upon a counter, getting a clear picture of the kitchen, where Booker was sitting & eating cereal grumpily, the biggest scowl imaginable on his scruffy face. 

"Hey, pumpkin!" Jack yelled as he got closer to Booker, standing in a way that the camera could see all the action.

"What?" Booker replied at normal volume, neither flinching at the shouting nor looking up from his cornflakes.

"Cuddle me!" Jack yelled again.

"Fuck off!" Booker hissed, still not looking up from his cereal. Jack gave him a cheek kiss nonetheless, then rushed out of the kitchen, picking up the camera as he went. 

"He doesn't usually cuss. He just woke up & misplaced his hearing aids." Jack chuckled, then placed a hand over the lens. He pulled it back again, yet the scenery had changed. It was dark again, the apartment illuminated by soft lamp light, while Jack was sitting once again on the sofa.

“Exhibit 2.” He put the camera down on the table before the sofa, then leaned back, crossed his legs, & waited. Soon enough, Booker trotted through the doorway & over to the couch. Jack pretended to be busy, picking up a book from beside him & flicking through the pages. He paid no mind to Booker as he plopped onto the sofa beside him, curled up into a tight ball, & then leaned against Jack’s side. Jack pretended that the book was far more interesting than his cuddly boyfriend, until said boyfriend huffed & weaselled his way under Jack’s arms & into his lap. He was promptly smothered with kisses, making more of those happy noises as he kissed back. 

Another text overlay came onto the screen as the boys continued to cuddle, saying:

_Another reason my boyfriend is a cat: bonk!_

Then, all of a sudden, Booker head-butted Jack, pressing the top of his head to Jack’s jaw. Jack chuckled & placed a kiss on his head, nuzzling his nose into his boyfriend’s auburn hair.

The screen faded to black again, before fading back in to the image of the cosy living room of a house, a completely different place from Jack’s apartment. On a worn-out sofa in the centre of the room sat Booker, a cast on his leg as he sat there with a scowl.

“So, Books & I went to visit our friends from another state. And my idiot did what? He fell off the roof of their house,” Jack let out a sigh, turning the camera to face him, “Another reason my boyfriend is a cat: he’s got nine lives, _at least._ Probably more.” There suddenly came a yell from behind him, & Jack quickly switched off the camera.

It came back on to a view of Jack’s apartment, with him sitting on his sofa.

“So, we’re back home again. Books still has a broken leg but he’s adjusting pretty well. Here’s another reason my boyfriend is a cat: bleps.” He reached forwards, obscuring the lens with his sleeve as he picked the camera up. After making sure the visuals were clear, he trekked through his apartment to the kitchen. Booker sat on one of the stools, a cast still visible on his leg. One of his elbows rested upon the counter, his head fitting snuggly into the palm of his hand as he stared blankly into the void. His tongue was peeking out from his mouth. Jack snickered as he crept closer, Booker seemingly not noticing him there. His hand reached out from behind the camera, one finger pointed forward, as he brought it closer & promptly poked Booker’s pink tongue. Booker blinked, pulling his tongue back into his mouth.

After a brief moment of shock, he glared at Jack, “You made me lose my train of thought, Jackie!” Jack only laughed in response at the grumpy look he was getting.

“Sorry, pumpkin. I couldn’t resist.” The screen cut to black again.

When the visuals faded back in, Booker was sprawled out on the couch, seemingly asleep.

Jack was snickering from behind the camera as he came closer, “So, Booker doesn’t get much sleep, he gets nightmares a lot. But when he does sleep, he does this really cute thing that’s rather hard to explain simply & you really have to see it. Another reason my boyfriend is secretly a cat: this thing.” The closer he came with the camera, the more it was visible that Booker was fast asleep, one arm propping up his head & the other draped across his chest. He was also drooling, his mouth agape as soft snores left him. Jack’s arm reached out from behind the camera, his fingers clutching onto the edge of his sweater as he obviously was planning to wipe away the drool. The moment his arm got close to Booker’s mouth, his teeth clamped shut around the puffy sweater & any bit of skin he could reach.

“I don’t know why he does it,” Jack dropped his voice, speaking as close to the camera as possible to still be heard clearly, “But he just does & it’s adorable. And he _is_ still asleep.” The camera was brought closer to Booker’s face, & as expected, he was still gently snoring around the hand in his mouth. 

“Maybe it’s because he stims by chewing, I dunno.” The camera cut to black again, a slight grunt of effort coming from Jack as he without a doubt tried taking his arm back from his boyfriend.

When it faded back in, the camera was set up on its tripod in Jack’s room again, the man himself sitting on his bed. 

“And these are all the reasons, that I managed to record at least, that are proof that my boyfriend, Booker, is actually a cat in disguise,” He chuckled slightly as he said it, a smile gracing his lips, “Let me know what you all think about...”

“JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!” Suddenly came a yell.

“Booker?” Jack began getting up, coming closer to the camera.

“The neighbour’s cat got into our kitchen again! Get it outta here!” Jack let out a laugh with a shake of his head. He gave the camera one last smile.

“Bye, everyone. Jack Ryan, out.” Then he switched the camera off for the last time.


End file.
